Saturday 14 March 2009

How to annoy a vicar's wife...

The Church Times printed a wonderful story this week about an "unconventional" vicar's wife. She was "unconventional" because she married someone who became a vicar, moved into a house, was required to cook for him and his guests, started buying fairtrade products and came up with a few recipes... oh and she's fairly photogenic and is working on a book deal... and she doesn't bake many cakes...

I suspect there were vicar's wives (and husbands) across the country today who were swearing into their cereal or feeling a little bit narked!

I've known many clergy spouses over the years who could be described as "unconventional" - although most of them were just getting on with being themselves. I have seen them ride motorbikes, lecture in psychology, get ordained or work in Sainsburys. I know one who is Jewish. All in all "vicar's wives" are a fairly "unconventional" bunch because they are also human - and reflect the whole range of human experience, skills and interests.

The annoying thing is that there is still a great deal of pressure for them to fit into the classic role - acting as an unpaid curate, housekeeper and caterer - leading the Sunday School and generally being nice...

This Church Times article didn't present an "unconventional" or "alternative" view of "Vicar's Wives" - it simply re-invented the traditional model Nigella style.

I've got nothing against the lady in question and I guess she's got a book to sell, so good on her really - but if we are to build a truly collaborative and diverse church we need to ditch the whole "vicar's wife" thing altogether - or come up with some entirely new role models.

3 comments:

WendyM said...

I agree with your last paragraph in particular Tim. In no other profession is a spouse expected to participate in the husbands/wifes profession in this way. To add to that I think it is unfair how a vicars home is treated as an additional meeting space - a home should be a home with no expectation that meetings will be held there or people can drop in with church issues - unless invited! The Clergy need room to breathe, to be able to get away from work for a while - like anyone else!

Anonymous said...

Here Here Tim - you have my full support on this one!!!!!

Pete Scott said...

If I was a cynic I would link the article to the publication this month of her book, "the vicar's wife's cook book"... but as I am not a cynic I won't.

When I saw the photo I had a strong sense of deja vu - the same photo appeared in the press in 2007