Saturday, 14 March 2009

How to annoy a vicar's wife...

The Church Times printed a wonderful story this week about an "unconventional" vicar's wife. She was "unconventional" because she married someone who became a vicar, moved into a house, was required to cook for him and his guests, started buying fairtrade products and came up with a few recipes... oh and she's fairly photogenic and is working on a book deal... and she doesn't bake many cakes...

I suspect there were vicar's wives (and husbands) across the country today who were swearing into their cereal or feeling a little bit narked!

I've known many clergy spouses over the years who could be described as "unconventional" - although most of them were just getting on with being themselves. I have seen them ride motorbikes, lecture in psychology, get ordained or work in Sainsburys. I know one who is Jewish. All in all "vicar's wives" are a fairly "unconventional" bunch because they are also human - and reflect the whole range of human experience, skills and interests.

The annoying thing is that there is still a great deal of pressure for them to fit into the classic role - acting as an unpaid curate, housekeeper and caterer - leading the Sunday School and generally being nice...

This Church Times article didn't present an "unconventional" or "alternative" view of "Vicar's Wives" - it simply re-invented the traditional model Nigella style.

I've got nothing against the lady in question and I guess she's got a book to sell, so good on her really - but if we are to build a truly collaborative and diverse church we need to ditch the whole "vicar's wife" thing altogether - or come up with some entirely new role models.