I've been thinking a bit about clergy stress over the past few days; partly because I've had conversations with or about ministers who have reached the end of their teather - if not crossed it. It seems to me that we are still imposing incredible pressures on some of our people, often for no more reason than habit. It's like the training incumbent who treats (bullies) the curate in the same way that his incumbent treated him - and every so often I hear a fresh tale of behaviour that is frankly unbelievable and I really can't quote such stories in a blog like this...
Some people might say that I complain too much but it upsets me to think of the top quality ministry that is simply squandered because of the way we treat one another and the stresses we accept as normal. I find it difficult to say "that's just the way it is" - it just shouldn't!
I picked up a book in one of our churches this evening while I was waiting for a wedding couple, "Pressure Points: How to Survive with the World and the Church on your back" by Peter Meadows. The wedding couple were very late so I had quite a thorough skim. It's a good book about stress - fairly familiar to anyone who's looked at these things before, but well written.
I noticed that the sticker in the front identified it as belonging to one of my predecesors - who did leave after life went a bit pear-shaped. It was interesting to think of him reading these words and to ponder how helpful they may have been in his time of crisis.
Of course, I then started thinking about my own stress. I'm responsible for the same church that he was - plus two more - with a number of other responsibilities besides... What's different? Why am I still standing? Am I still standing?
One difference, of course, is that we are more aware of the symptoms and effects of stress these days, so I'm sure we are able to manage it better. I suspect we have also benefited locally from eight years of development in shared ministry - this is not the same place that my predecesor served in. We are not the same people and don't have the same expectations...
And yet we still have a long way to go. There are some big lessons still to learn about letting go and finding a more peace-filled model of ministry - for all of us, ordained and lay alike. As I head towards my sabbatical I am hoping that this time will give me space to reimagine a ministry that is life giving rather than life draining - and I hope that when I return I will remember to live it too - for all our sakes...
(One week left to go...)
2 comments:
Read your blog on stress with interest. There are many who sadly feel they need to keep things hidden and have little support from within existing structures - it's an area in which we are working.
www.camsterhouse.com/clergy1.htm There is also a feature article in this weeks Church Times Page 19 worth reading.
Hope you have a good sabbatical
In response to Stu:
I did pick up the Church Times on Friday and was intrigued to find an article which repeated some of these themes. There is truth that greater knowledge and accepatance of the reality of clergy stress (and stress in general) does play an important part in making debilitating stress less likely (or more likely to be dealt with) but there are still many clergy who can't acknowledge their stress or are placed in impossible situations. I'd like to say more, but there are limits to what you can say in a blog... It's the one thing I have found myself shedding tears for on occassion - I'm not sure why... Some of our best people often suffer in ways that are heartbreaking.
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